in sickness and in heath (and when benadryl looks overly friendly)

I have to be the worlds worst blogger. It's been a month since my last post and with all that has happened the only thing I can think to write about is this damn crud that Jon so lovingly gave to me and that I inadvertently gave to Jaxen despite my efforts not to. It's funny to me. When people get married, they take a vow to do what they can in sickness and in health. When you have a baby, you don't take that vow, not verbally anyways and defiantly not together. It is my experience that when a man and a woman get together and decide to have a child (or in some cases tequila decides for them) the woman, without knowing it, signs in blood to be the primary caretaker when said child is sick. Never mind is mom is sick or dad. Go hang out with your friends dad. It's cool. The baby and I will sit here and feel like shit together....no...not quite I guess. He is in Oklahoma, but on a phone conversation where I confided in him how much hell I really did feel like, he still managed to call me a sissy. I honestly think I have taken more pills this week than in the rest of my life. My RN of a mother has been shoving all kinds of things down my throat. Vitamin C chewable chalk shit, liquid something or another that I had more trouble holding down than a shot of 151, and lord knows what else. Oh by the way, one of the pills I'm not taking? No baby pills. Now don't go jumpin' to any conclusions here. We are not trying to have another baby right now. I just managed to lose them in the week long move from my house where I spend a week with Jon to my parents where I stay while he is away working. I'll just have to tell him when he gets home that we have to prevent babies the old fashioned way. ......No not by celibacy, by condoms. I get marina put in next month. I'm going to do the five year. Though we do hope to have another baby before the five years is up. I will graduate (if everything goes according to my plan) in 2013...two more years once this spring semester starts. But wait! There's more. I have to get a job, then we have to find and start paying for a house. THEN we can start trying for number two. As much as I would love for my kids to be a little closer in age than three or four years, I have to do what's best for the family and drown my baby fever in the no-baby brand of Tylenol.

Stay in and lock your door!

Well, I made it 20 years without EVER going out on black Friday...but this year, the chain was broken. Due to being in a small house, with a lot of people, at my grandmothers, in Houston. I gave in to the hate I have for this death wish day, and went out. Mostly because my mom and aunt begged. So, Jaxen and I loaded up and off we went. Where did we go? The worst place I could think of. (and the one place I deeply hoped we wouldn't go) The mall. Now I hate the mall enough already. In fact. I hate shopping in general (unless it's for Jaxen..I like that).  So being a girl who hates to shop and can't understand how any sell can be worth fighting hoards of people and standing in checkout lines for hours...I went shopping on black Friday. The first store we hit in the mall was JCP. OK. I can do this. Five minutes it. I'm screaming in my head and glaring at the people who can't seem but help running into the parked stroller. My family made it down one aisle of the store and ended up with more things than they could hold (pillows and heated mattress pads). To the check out we go! With a sinking feeling of dread and loss of precious time I stare down this line that seems to stretch out longer than an desert. I can feel myself getting angry. My mother, god bless her, saved me by telling me I didn't have to wait in line "Go find the Children's Place". The Children's Place! Of course! No one is going to be in there. With a mad dash I run from JCP and find a mall map. The fact that the map was crowded should have tipped me off. Still onward I march, just me and Jaxen to find him something nice. I get into the door and ever fiber of my body says Run...No sale is worth this crowd! Do I listen? NO! I push my stroller though the store trying to find the shirt and tie I want for him so badly. The shirt I found....along with the end of the check out line that had weaved itself though the aisles. No sale....I repeat. NO SALE is worth this. I threw the shirt on the nearest rack and fled. There had to be a safe place to hide. The food court. Yes. Starbucks was out of the question, it's line was a mile long. We ended up sitting at a table enjoying some sweet tea and pretzel nuggets. Eventually, he fell asleep and got to avoid the rest of the chaos and I had to find my family again to be drug to Macy's. It was wild. It was crazy. There was way to many people. I spent a total of 58 dollars on food and come Clinique face cleaner. I will never shop black Friday again. No sale is worth it. I think I will just wait for Cyber monday and shop from the comfort and safety of my living room.

Intoxication and internet access.

After a long day of picking up after Jaxen. Him trashing the place again, picking up yet again....it was a vicious cycle that didn't end until he went to bed. I decided that it would be a good idea to have a few drinks to wind down. I didn't have to worry about waking up with him, I didn't have to worry about getting up early. So I made a stiff one and settled into the covers for a little Internet browsing. They say the worst thing you can do while under the warm influence of alcohol has to do with your phone. I say Nay! The worst thing is the computer. Because then you wind up on a chat room and start saying things (with horrible spelling) that you wouldn't usually say sober. What did I learn this morning? Never drink and surf.

For the most part, today has been event less. Mom took Jaxen to Henderson for some syrup festival, and Dad is busying himself making deer jerky (which smells amazing). However, one thing of slight interest did happen. Jon, that son of a bitch, decided to text me and say he was going to eat Chinese. He hates Chinese. I love it. Being the asshole he is, he decided to tease me about the food. So...I sent him naked pictures as pay back. Yep. nothing make me feel like I've won more than getting a text saying "Thanks a lot for giving me a semi at work!" yeah. walk around with that in your pocket!

House work awaits and is screaming at me to pay attention to it. So far I am resisting, but it will have to be done eventually. Kind of like my homework, which means I'll throw it all together an hour before I need it done.

It starts again

Finally! Hope is in sight! The father of my son is in Oklahoma for god knows how long. We still don't have our own place to live. Jaxen and me are back with my parents. And I am going crazy! So where is the hope? It's in the fact that we are finally financially stable. It's my healthy, happy, crazy, little boy. I have been trying since Jaxen was born to write every day, but I found that that never happened, and when it did, I often tried to glamorize my life. But let's face it. Down here, my life is far from glamours. It's amazing, but not pretty. That is why, now that I am at my parents with a constant supply of never ending Internet (as long as the wind doesn't blow to hard), I have decided to put all my cards down. To write every day and leave nothing out that might paint a bad picture of me. After all, Every color in the painting is who I am, good or bad, I like myself.
So what is in store for today? Unpacking of course! By unpacking I mean dumping out the trash bags I filled with things and trying to remember if things were clean or dirty. Today is the start of a new blogging life for me, and while this first post isn't more than the mindless ramblings of a half insane woman, it is my hope that future post will have more to offer.